Fallen Soldiers – Vent IX

Death is inevitable. It is one of the very few things that is guaranteed. We eventually know that the day will come when we’ll meet our demise, but the thing is; we know not when or how. That’s why we live everyday to the fullest in hopes that we can see more days.

It’s always upsetting when someone we’ve known for years on end passes away. It’s even more shocking to us when the person was around the same age as us, because then you look at yourself and just say to yourself, “that could’ve been me, or any other of my friends.”

Someone who passed at the beginning of the year, had said something that gave me much insight. I don’t know it off the top of my head word for word, and I wouldn’t want to disrespect him by misquoting, but he stated along the words of not fearing death itself, but yet he feared dying young, which most of us would fear as well. Many knew this man as Jamahl, others referred to him as Wizzle, but those words struck me because, he himself died young, and it was such a loss because, when we’re young, we’re only just finding out more about ourselves, and utilizing whatever talents we’ve discovered. I didn’t know much of him, but he was definitely one of those who hadn’t yet sprung forth to show off what talents he had.

The idea of death doesn’t scare me, because I’m aware that it will happen. My fear is that I’ll have nothing to leave behind to anyone, the feeling that I’ll never have the opportunity to start a family of my own, or to achieve success in my later years. That’s my fear. I fear that I’ll start losing more people one by one, but at the same time, I don’t want to feel that way, because I should be appreciating them now that they’re here, instead of afterwards when they’re no longer with me. That’s what I feel is missing from a lot of people. They don’t appreciate those in their life until it’s too late. It’s cliché for a reason, because it ALWAYS HAPPENS!

When someone close to you dies, it feels as if a part of you dies with them, but no matter what, the memories you had with them will be ever lasting, until you can create new ones in the afterlife. I’ve lost a few friends, and I’m ever thankful for the ones that are alive that I can call my friends, because that list isn’t big. A lot of people take the people closest to them for granted. Ya, you talk to each other here and there, and through the power of technology, no one is really more than message away. It’s the kind of world, we’ve evolved into. It’s crazy how the little things like picking up the phone to call someone really changes in an instant. The satisfaction of hearing someone’s voice can’t simply be replaced by words on text. It’ll never be the same, because there’s more of a human feel to it; it’s more intimate, and it strengthens the bond of individuals more than mere words on text. But, once that bond is broken, it feels as if your entire world just comes to a standstill, and you don’t know where to go because you’re so delusional from what you’ve just experienced.

Loss is the toughest emotion to deal with. There are different degrees, but it’s equally disheartening. Whether you’ve lost your keys, you’ve lost a race, or you’re mourning a lost loved one, the feeling of having something taken away from you, hurts whether it was your own fault or not.

In the movie In Time, one of the characters that is essentially the reason why Justin Timberlake was able to have so much wealth, was suffering from not feeling human. For those who don’t know about the movie, pretty much in a nutshell, time = money; the more money you have, the more time you have, which essentially adds up to how long you live. The rich man had so much money, he would pretty much, never die, but he hated it because he didn’t feel human. He didn’t know what it was like to experience loss in his life. No one around him died, so he didn’t know how to feel. He ended up taking his own life to get away from the suffering, and it just relates back to what I was saying.

Humans aren’t robots. We need to feel emotions to really recognize what’s going on, and to differentiate what’s going right, and what’s going utterly wrong. When you lose something, it’s all wrong, and sometimes there’s nothing we can do, but move on, because that’s how life works.

We’re born, we live, we die. Dying young is a great fear that I have myself, to be honest. I’ve seen death at a young age, when a schoolmate of mine died just up the street from where I lived & grandmother passed away when I was just 14 years old. Death isn’t an easy thing to deal with. It can affect many in different ways, both psychologically & emotionally. It can tear families & friends apart, or on a positive note, it can bring people together to carry out the dreams of the ones we’ve lost. We always want to look at the bright side of things during the darkest hours, and every word of that is true. We should. Of course, we need time to reflect & mourn the fallen that have unfortunately had to pass, but it’s also a time to celebrate what they’ve given to us. A time to really appreciate just how much we valued their presence when others didn’t see it. There’s a certain connection you have to the person that you just understand, and no one else will. That’s life, and those memories shared with them should never go in vain, because they wouldn’t want it that way.

I hate death. I hate the fact that whenever someone I know dies, thoughts run around my head, and I start to question if I’m the next to go. It sounds a bit over-the-top, but it happens more than you know, and I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s gone through that. It’s a daunting task to keep a level heard when you’re dealing with something like this, because there’s truly never a right time to deal with that kind of shock. The only thing that I can do, is not think about it and continue living my life and strive to become the best me, because I carry the memories of the past and use them as fuel to guide me to a bright future. That’s all it’s about.

Keep the memories alive of the fallen soldiers, and use them as your strength to continue on your journey. It’s easier said than done, but we can all do it. I’m not a very religious person, but saying a prayer, and having faith in a higher power will always help you get through the toughest obstacles. Read this, and I’d encourage you to call up a friend you haven’t talked to in a while, or a family member. Tell them how much you appreciate them and/or love them, because honestly, with so many people just going away sooner than we’d like to, the next day, you could wake up, and it’ll be someone you truly care about that’ll be gone, and no one wants that.

I dedicate this not only to the friends & families of Ryan “Funk McFly” Jones, but also to those of Anthony Spencer, Jamahl Franklin, Robert Jenkins, and most importantly, my Late Grandmother, Valerie Barrett, whom I think of daily. All will be physically missed, but the memories of them will forever remain.

 That’s My Word & It STiXX

2 thoughts on “Fallen Soldiers – Vent IX

  1. Very beautiful post, sad but true on so many levels. RIP Ryan Jones. So many memories of him at IKEA…lol, he was character.

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