Human beings, men and women alike – we all want the same thing in life when it comes to a companion, and that something is someone who’s real. Unlike my ‘Let’s Be Real’ post on EsVeeCee, this is about the people who are real to the bone, meaning: True to themselves and straight up about themselves from the get go with no surprises lurking for others to discover over the course of a relationship.
I have to shout out my friend Tamia, because she started a general conversation (indirectly) by saying that “nice chicks finish last” and that led to a comment saying that (most) men want a woman who has attitude & has no self respect. Albeit, that may be true in some cases, because most men would preferably want a woman who’s more outgoing than someone who keeps to themselves a majority of the time, the statement is a toss-up. People in general want someone that can relate to them, can be essentially a 2nd brain and a better lover & a best friend to them. That’s what keeps the world turning.
Mary J. Blige for the many years that she sung about heartache and trying times with the opposite sex, one song stands out. Real Love. All she was searching for was real love. Someone to take her heart (stop me before I starting singing the damn song). Isn’t that what we all want? I think so. I’m not a love expert (I’ve stated this on my 3rd vent), but people want something that’s not fabricated and a carbon copy of something that they see on television or what they see other people doing in their relationships. It’s all a process.
Life is a struggle – we have a lot of issues to deal with aside from trying to find a lover to want and hold for the rest of our lives: Finances, Health, Education, Occupation, and the list goes on and on. The main reason why we want someone who’s down-to-earth and real with us is someone who can sort of ease the weight on our shoulders to simply tell us that “we’ll be alright” or “I have your back no matter what.” THAT is the real love a lot of us want. It’s not complicated, it’s simple. Support one another, love one another, deal with the struggles, and live prosperously. It seems like a fairy tale fantasy that seems unattainable, but there are couples that use this simple structure and look at them, they’re doing well because they’re taking it day by day. People need to understand that just because you’re around a couple that’s happy and loving, it doesn’t necessarily mean that it won’t come for you. Patience – it’s a virtue. You’ve been taught this since you were small, so why not continue to utilize that advice given to you? Let me explain something to you if I may.
I’m probably one of the biggest losers when it comes to the Love Game. I’m the Toronto Raptors, Maple Leafs, and Blue Jays (post 92-93) of this game. Pretty much it’s been L after L after L. Have I given up? No. Am I taking my time and waiting for the right one to come my way? Yes. Does that mean that I’m neglecting every viable prospect? Of course not. You can’t rebuild a team in a matter of seconds. Look at sports. Look at how many insignificant franchises have achieved great success through taking the heavy losses but rebuilding to get better. I’m in my rebuilding phase, but not like the ‘Toronto Raptors Method of Rebuilding,’ I’m actually improving myself because when people see you doing well, and confidence increases, then that gets noticed and eventually the right people will be attracted to you. That same approach that I’m taking, many people should. Don’t be scared to be alone, just don’t confuse it for being lonely. That’s a state of mind. It’s nice to have company around at times, but being by yourself, you learn things about yourself that you can really determine are factors when you’re in relationships. That’s being real. Honesty with yourself brings honesty with another. That’s what you want in a relationship don’t you? It’s only right.
Look, you don’t have to take it from me, but I’ve been through enough to spread some butter on this slice of toast. Life is a waiting game; Love is a facet of life that you have to deal with. It will come to you if you haven’t had it. When you do, just don’t let it slip. Don’t be caught up in the Hollywood couples and amount of people breaking up all over the place. It’s real if you want it to be, but it takes work, as does anything else in life. So, stop worrying, and live life.
That’s My Word & It STiXX
2 thoughts on “Are You For Real? – Vent XXIV”
I love this post. It’s so relevant to my life I’m really glad I read it. Thank you.
I like the fact that you haven’t given up. I think your blog is great. The way you compare a relationship to a sports team is an excellent analogy. I also agree that having the confidence in yourself does show through and others will see it. As they say, “never let them see you sweat”. Always be confident. It shows.