Where To Begin….Again – Vent XLII

There’s always the right time to write stuff down. This post was pretty much 7 months in the making, because when you go through a transitional period, it’s not all that fun to take a loss, but the gain that comes out of it is a feeling that’s unmatched by most. First and foremost, for the insightful blog readers (because I don’t always provide that), read the My Cosmopolitan ThoughtsOrange;Inal S0uls blogs. Meaningful topics discussed that have even inspired me as a person to look at my life and reflect a bit. There’s many things that you can relate to with their posts, so definitely stay updated with them.

It’s funny, because the title reflects the state of mind I had in August of 2012: “Now what?” That was said after I had quit my job at Kitchen Stuff Plus, where I’d been working, on and off, since I was 16 years old – my first job ever. There’s come a point in time where you look at your life and you see no progression – all you see is a revolving door; either you’re looking at it spin, or you’re caught inside. I saw the door spin, and I was afraid of getting caught inside. People are accustomed to sameness, and the problem with that is although it’s not necessarily what they want to do, they just stick with it because a comfort zone has been built. It’s usually these same individuals that complain about not having anything significant going for them, because they’re doing the same routine over and over expecting something different.

“Doing the same shit over and over and expecting different results – Insanity” – Chuuwee (Scribe)

it sounds redundant, and I have spoken on this topic before, but I’ve never really acted on it, so in August, I did just that. The next question is always “where to?” but often times, there’s no door of opportunity in front of you, so you just have to start knocking on them. Staying persistent and keeping your passion alive is what will separate you from everyone else. In this world, you have to be someone who’s ambitious, courageous, and forth willing to take a dip into the losses to earn (keyword earn) a substantial win. After going to Made In America in Philadelphia (can’t wait to go back this year), I came back and just to my luck, there was an internship for assisting with Video editing. Things come at the right time, and after the previous 2 tries, the time was finally now. When you follow-up with opportunities that you want, people notice. Triangle Post noticed, and I’m thankful for them keeping me in the know, because if I had taken the route that many do (by that I mean to stop looking when things aren’t going well), then who knows where I’d be right now. My mind races a million miles a minute, and I’m never satisfied with just having something sustainable – my aims are to having something meaningful. Everyone should have the same thought process.

“As my mind drift and then split
Like the middle of a spliff, I begin to catapult off
The cliff of the unknown

I got a feeling in my funny bone that we’re not the same
Just antonyms of another age” – Kendrick Lamar (My Mind Drifts)

The story of Kevin Ware is something that was horrific to watch, but also inspiring at the same time. I’ll spare the graphic details for the squeamish at heart, but he was still encouraging his team to win the game and that he was fine. That kind of determination is not regularly seen in the ‘all about me’ society we live in.

When you work at an unpaid internship with no job behind you to rely on, you’re putting yourself at financial risk, and that’s exactly what I was doing, and why? Because I knew that it would be worth it in the end. Was it frustrating? Yes. Did I look for work on the side? Yes I did. Did I have any regrets? Absolutely not. The staff at Triangle enabled me to pick the brains of a lot of great minds that I was able to take for my steps on my continuing life journey. 6 – 7 months of working essentially for free is a minor detail that I left out for a lot of people, because I wasn’t in the mood to hear “wtf? You’re working for free? For what? Nah, that could never be me.” I was guaranteed to get one of those reactions, but when you talk to good people who recognize that dreams have no monetary value, it makes it that much more motivating, and at the same time, I knew what I was doing. I’m not afraid of being broke – I’ve been broke before, but the difference is that I had a different mindset at the time, and I hadn’t fully matured. I probably pissed people off, I most likely annoyed others because of my lack to do things, but my life isn’t to please them, I have to get mine where and when I can.

“We all get distracted
The question is would you bounce back or bounce backwards?
Would you not know how to act or take action? It’s just a part of life
And if your vision’s impaired, you probably lose it all tonight”
Kendrick Lamar (Growing Apart)

“Nigga, summer, fall, winter-time, 24/365
You niggas gon’ give me mine, I don’t have plenty time
Flying out at any time, getting money, any grind
You niggas gon’ give me mine, you niggas gon’ give me mine”
– Domo Genesis (Rusty)

The mind is a powerful thing when you come to understanding just what it’s capable of. You control your thoughts, and to a certain extent, you control the things that you want in life. What did a 6 month unpaid internship open my eyes to? It let me know that patience is incredibly needed, because there were times when I said to myself “Jordan…you better hope something comes out of this, because this isn’t looking too good.” I had affected the mood at home, and it wasn’t a good sign. Writing and listening to music, and going out to meet new people is what kept me sane. If I didn’t have hobbies, I would have been completely miserable. The point of this is that I found my new beginning, and from that experience, I graduated into a current well-paying job close to home, and that feeling of accomplishment has settled in for the moment. I did what I had to do to get ahead, and I’m definitely more confident in myself for taking that leap of faith and landing on a plain of progress.

You have to stay hungry in order to eat well when you catch the prey. There’s many opportunities to walk away when tough times go, but as I was taught 3 years ago: Tough times don’t last, but tough people do. Mental toughness is something that is damn near the biggest challenge to grasp, but once you can understand that you have to enforce patience into your life, then nothing is impossible. Always get stronger. I’m glad I went through what I did, because I wouldn’t be here right now. Look at your life, and if you’re not happy with it, demand yourself to change it – you owe yourself that.

That’s My Word & It STiXX

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