Mylo Xyloto – The STiXXclusive Review

Mylo Xyloto


I need to speak to Chris Martin, because I have NO IDEA, what the hell this album title means and it took me like EONS to figure out how to say it in the first place. Made my head hurt. I don’t usually go outside of my home genre to review albums, but I felt like showing off a side of me that a lot of you may not know about me.

I. FUCKS. WITH. COLD. PLAY.

Chris Martin is that dude, ever since the first album. One of my mother’s favourite bands, so I have a likeness of them by birthright, even though this is the 2nd album I’ve listened to of theirs in full. Chris started that this album was inspired by MBDTF (SEE GRAMMY’S?!? WHITE PEOPLE LIKE THE ALBUM TOO!) and The Wire. Why’s he such a BAWSE though? Let me chill, I can’t be getting ignorant to some Coldplay right now.
Feels Like Heaven is where we start off. It sounded like a throwback 1980s joint with the basic kick/bass composition and upbeat tempo that would have white folks doing the Shimmy dance (no, I will not demonstrate). I could already tell from the start that this was going to be an “Ode to Gwyneth” album, or along the lines of that. He loves his wife, and that’s fantastic. Shawn Carter…do not get any ideas, sir. It’s a song that someone who listened to that kind of rock back then would appreciate. It was meh, to me, but then again, I know about as much to know about rock music compared to the amount of women that know stuff about sports. NOT MUCH (fight me)!
PARAAAAAA PARAAAAAA PARADISE! PARAAAAA PARAAAAAA PARADISE OHHHHHH OUH OHHHHHH OH OH OH! WOOOOO OOOOOO OOO WOOO OOOOOOO OOOO!


The messed up part about that is, those are EXACTLY the lyrics. I’m so serious, and don’t act like you don’t sing out the words when no one’s around. You can’t help yourself, it’s okay, just calm down. More love-ish material. At least it’s better than Drake’s simping. (Microsoft Word wants me to change it to ‘wimping’ HA!) Chris is actually married with chirren, so, I can’t be mad at him. He’s in lurrrv. Because I was fass in people’s business, of course I would read up on the fact that this album is about 2 people strangely in love, high off life and trying to figure out what’s going on and where to go. To…paradise? Perhaps? *throws up arms*
Charlie Brown.

Now…the name of this song confused me, because I’m expecting to hear the Peanuts theme and Snoopy doing his dance on Schroeder’s piano (WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT?!). I like this song, even though a majority of Coldplay’s songs sound incredibly similar (which is why they’re such a polarizing band to listen to). Chris Martin likes to put himself as the main subject of a song like he’s the main actor of the movie, but he’s the lead singer, so that’s allowed, and the futuristic sounds of this song (and the majority of the album) didn’t bother me. They’re Coldplay, they know what they are, they do what they do, and you either love it or hate it. They’re not gonna change it much. You can definitely tell that Kanye’s influence has rubbed off because of the extra instrumental sequencing at the end of the songs. Theatre music.
Not going to lie, a lot of the songs have similar storylines because they all fit the same concept of a “you and me against the world” mantra. It works though, don’t get me wrong, but reviewing it song for song is redundant. Every song is like a phase that the couple faces. There are breaks when it just has abstract filler as if it’s intermission at a play, but it helps keep the listener intact while staying alert to what’s going on.
Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall is a song you’ve DEFINITELY heard. It’s in that new 9/11 inspired movie trailer, and has been in like 17938279 commercials and is on the radio A LOT (if you listen to the mainstream). It’s a great song nonetheless. I compare this to ‘Clocks,’ but then again, the running joke is that EVERY SONG is compared to ‘Clocks.’ It’s a feel good song that just lifts you up from a sad place in no time.
U.F.O is a nice song with Chris singing while playing an acoustic guitar with string instruments rising in the background like a sunrise in the middle of June over a desolated lake area. That’s just how it feels. You can tell that he put heart into this album. He’s a family man, and he’s got a lot of love, so this is how he expresses it the best way that he can.
Princess of China IS FIRE!! Rihanna….yes…..you redeemed yourself. She was terrible on Take Care, so she went to her uncle Chris and said, forgive me for I have sinned and let me bless this album, and BLESSED SHE DID! I think because of her hopeless romantic self and her subject material on EVERY album, this song WAS PERFECT for her. Her vocals didn’t even piss me off that much because this just FIT with her. Chris Martin should work with more Black artists because he brings out the best of them (Homecoming? Kanye? COME ON!!!!). This beat sounded like Mr. Nice Watch but the sped up version….and more string instruments, and more emotions. Either way. Great song. I dig.
Up In Flames was probably the closest this album was going in the hip hop direction. A little bass and a clap, with a nice piano melody, I could almost FEEL Kanye stepping through the studio door to drop fire, I swear on my life. But Chris did well on his own. I can see the progression of maturity that Coldplay has gone through since their earlier albums. I’m pretty impressed, I won’t lie.
The last 2 songs almost mimic the first two, especially Don’t Let It Break Your Heart (Chris…seriously with the titles?). I feel like the track placement could have been better because the pacing went from UP to down almost every other song. It seemed like one bad emotional rollercoaster when you think about it, but the thing is that, they stayed consistent with the concept, and in their weird abstract way, they used it to a degree of effectiveness that made it work for them.

Up With The Birds reminds me DIRECTLY of Lost In The World from Kanye. How it started and the build up, and how it ended. He has a great respect for him, so I can see what he was saying about being influenced by him.
A lot of people will hate this album. The pacing is slow at times, the songs essentially talk about the same thing over and over. But, if you look beyond that and just take it in as a whole piece, then you’ll understand that it’s pretty much a sequence of events involving people on a love fest mystical journey of nothingness. THAT’S IT! Production is okay, only because this is not my exact field of expertise (not like I’m a music expert at all), but it wasn’t phenomenal. I’d give it a 3/5, and I don’t expect a lot of people to listen to the album, so that’s just me. Giving my opinion, voicing my thoughts, because

That’s My Word & It STiXX

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