54th Annual Grammy Awards – The STiXXclusive Review

Where to begin? The lack there of a Whitney Houston tribute? The over abundance of country music performances making it look like the CMT awards? Nicki Minaj’s….demonic performance that literally had people sitting in front of their televisions with a crucifix? Or the clean sweep of Adele in her career Resurrection (No blasphemy)? There was a lot going on, and although the show was pretty much boring, thanks to the joy that is social networking, I was able to watch it with full blown commentary (of course I provided my own), but there was much to discuss, so let’s just dive right into it.

As we all know, Whitney Houston passed away on Saturday afternoon, which was the night before the Grammys. It’s a lot for a producer to change up the direction of the biggest music show in North America (some would say the World, but I don’t think so), but there was a lot of speculation that there was going to be a big tribute with big names singing in honour of Whitney. To be quite honest, a lot of people weren’t even interested in the Grammys prior to Whitney dying, but we all wanted to see a tribute.

I have to give a shout out to LL Cool J for a great opening monologue about the love of music, and leading the entire stadium in prayer. It’s not often that people in the entertainment business acknowledge God (unless they win something), and although a lot of people don’t believe in him (and/or Religion itself), I commend him for doing that. It was a major sign of respect, and given the recent events, I felt that (aside from a tribute) it was a great way to honour Whitney. Shortly after came a short video of her singing ‘I Will Always Love You,’ and that’s when the tears came, I’m sure. Such a beautiful person with an angelic voice. Such a shame to lose that. We can only hope that the future generations can appreciate the real talent that she was.

Jennifer Hudson, who was announced earlier as one of the singers to honour her, came on stage later on during the show to start off the tribute by singing (surprisingly) not all of ‘I Will Always Love You,’ but simply a brief excerpt. You can tell that she was emotionally torn from doing the performance, but he kept her composure and finished what she started. Then all of a sudden, there was a commercial…ok, what now? You can’t tell me that there was all of that in one minute. There had to be more right? Because a massive part of your audience (at least the televised audience) was tuning in to watch the Whitney tribute, and all you gave them was a sample? Something wasn’t right, so all we could do is wait and see.

I loved the fact that Alicia Keys & Bonnie Raitt paid tribute to Etta James, whom I suspect many people forgot had died, which is fair, but at the same time, greatness deserves recognition. I love me some Alicia, and it was a beautiful, yet short, performance.

Kanye West was nominated for 7 Grammys, but he was snubbed from the Album of the Year category, which got me upset, because it was arguably the best album of any genre to come out in the past year (key word: arguably), so I thought that he deserved recognition for that, not just for Best Rap Album (which he won anyways, but still).

Adele was the other main story that was buzzing around the Grammys. I don’t know much about her other than the fact that she had surgery on her throat, so that would have affected her voice, but she came back stronger than ever with hits on hits on hits. Her voice may annoy me, but there’s no denying that she’s a great singer who has great songs. With a crapload of radio play and commercials on TV, her story of coming back to greatness was simply something to admire, and you can’t help but feel good for her, even though you hear her songs 100 times a day. She was nominated for 6 awards, and wouldn’t you know that she swept everything. She went MJ on them and collected 6 Grammys. That’s an incredible feat for someone coming back from such a major setback. So congratulations to her and her major accomplishment. She also had a great performance, and I have to shout her out for having an all black female back-up dancer ensemble. I have to respect that.

Now, let’s talk about some performances.

Chris Brown danced on Lego (the running joke on Twitter), and I’m not going to lie, he’s had better performances on the BET Awards. Not to gas myself up, but I could do that if I really wanted to. It wasn’t anything that impressive, but a lot of people were looking into the fact that he came back to the Grammys after his incident with Rihanna. Look, it happened, he did his time, and we can’t expect him to be banned for life. A lot of people may not agree with it, and I’m not stating that I do either, but no one even knows the real story aside from the fact that he beat the hell out of Rihanna, and that’s about it, but the two have seemed to have got over that, so we should to.

Speaking of Rihanna, she had a very interesting performance as well. Herself, and Coldplay were introduced (assuming they were going to perform ‘Princess of China’), so we all sat intently as to what was going to happen. Rihanna opened up with an acoustic version of ‘We Found Love,’ and let me just say that this girl can’t sing live, most people said can’t sing at all, but she didn’t sound good, that was the common thing. She tried, I won’t lie, she tried, and just when you thought it was over, she broke into her dance set, and what a dance set it was. For those who don’t know what the Willie Bounce is, that is the dance that Rihanna was doing last night that had myself and the rest of twitter dying with laughter, tears literally strolling down my face.

This was the picture that was floating around the Social World last night. Instant tears

She “tried a ting” and I won’t lie, it wasn’t terrible. Bogle wouldn’t be rolling in his grave, he probably would have done the same thing. The fact that she brought a Jamaican dance to the Grammys means that Jamaicans won, and Bajans were upset. Oh well. Life goes on. After performing ‘We Found Love,’ she vanished, and all we saw was Chris Martin singing the beginning of ‘Princess in China,’ which was the reason for their performance in the first place. Rihanna came back out, did a little something something, and that was essentially it.

It was nice, but Rihanna really can’t sing. She can make hits, but she needs the aid of a computer. I actually listened to the Coldplay album ‘Mylo Xyloto,’ and it was alright. I actually like the song they did with Rihanna, and they also performed another song that I enjoyed thoroughly, Paradise. Coldplay is a love/hate group, but I’ve been a fan for a long time (thanks Mom), so I enjoyed their performance. It was quite colourful.

Clearly I’m not going in order with this post, but whatever, but I have to shout out Bruno Mars. His performance was sick. He seems to enjoy pretending to step right out of a black and white TV sitcom from the 50s, but it works for him, so flourish, young man. He performed his hits, and he even through in some slick James Brown foot action in there, which I gave props to, because the man could move his legs like no one’s business. I could dig it, but I just can’t dig having to listen to the man all day at work (same with Adele).

What’s with all of these female artists wanting to copy other artists. everyone wants Madonna status dressing like either her or Cher. Gaga started this trend, then she gave birth to her daughters Katy Perry & Nicki Minaj (who I don’t even consider a rapper anymore). You have others like Ke$ha in the mix, but she’s chilling behind her money not making noise, so I can deal with that. THESE PEOPLE ON THE OTHER HAND, I can’t deal with. Let’s start with Katy Perry, because I’m still trying to exorcise my demons from Nicki Minaj’s performance.

Why did she come out dressing up like a Power Ranger from 2005? Or even a Bettleborg? Or even Shego from Kim Possible? I’m confused. Why the power suit? My head was hurting me trying to understand what she was wearing. For the record, I’ve heard this broad WAY TOO MUCH since I started college with the whole ‘I Kissed A Girl’ bullshit. Listen here, she may have the ability to make hits, but she’s annoying as hell. Her performance started off with a song I don’t even know because I think it was new, but I can tell you right now, by the end of the week I’ll probably hear it so much that I could be able to tell you. I thought that she was experiencing technical difficulties (as did the rest of the world), but all of a sudden she was high up on a platform performing another song. How she flew up there faster than Rocky the Squirrel, I’ll never know, but she could have at least taken that time to switch up her outfit, jeez. Moral of the story is, I didn’t like her performance or her blue hair. The running joke was that she looked like James from Pokemon’s Team Rocket *dies*

Now….this bitch here, Nicki Minaj. Listen, I cannot speak for the actions of this heffer. Straight up, I don’t know how her fans take her an OUNCE of serious. I liked her when she was rapping on the staircase with two bad bitches on the side, and counting her monney in the camera. I liked that Nicki. This bitch now? No thank you. Y’all can have her, I want no parts with her. At all. First off, she came to the Awards looking like a ghetto Little Red Riding Hood with a dress so big that the bottom of it could fit a small family.

She had a dead expression, and she came in with a dude that looked like a Pope. Honestly, she needs….something. Fast. She wasn’t done there. Her performance? Lord. Help us. I really don’t understand what was going on. She was trying to mimic The Exorcist, but she was simply introducing her alter ego, Roman, and of course she came out to do Roman’s Revenge. THIS BITCH SUCKS! It makes me upset because as I stated in my Missy Elliot T.A.O.D post, MC Lyte & other OG femcees didn’t pave the way for this girl to be making Female rappers look like shit. It was embarrassing, but just when you didn’t think it could get any worse, it did. She debuted a new song called ‘Roman Holiday,’ and it starts off sampling the best Christmas carol of all time, O Come All Ye Faithful, and she did it NO JUSTICE! She had dancers in KKK robes, around a church set up, with fire, and all of a sudden she’s floating. Man….this bitch crazy. A lot of people were embarrassed, shocked, dying of laughter at this ridicule, or simply just shaking their heads in disgust. Charles Barkley would have called this TURRIBLE!

Don Cornelius’ recent passing warranted a tribute, because he was a key part in contributing to the music industry with ‘Soul Train.’ But, apparently, the only way that the Grammys could honour him was to bring out a couple of popular DJs playing dubstep music, mixed in with Chris Brown, DaWayne Carter (Lil Wyane), and LMFAO? Really? For real? He didn’t die for this. I really hope to all higher powers that BET was watching this and taking notes as to how NOT to ruin a tribute, but then flashbacks of the Micheal Jackson tribute occurs, and I’m still shaking my head at it. It was essentially a rave, but I wasn’t digging it.

I don’t know a damn thing about country music, aside from the fact that I despise it. It’s boring, the songs all sound the same, and the sound of an acoustic guitar or a banjo just irritates me. So in a nutshell, if you throw that in with Taylor Swift, that’s the perfect blend for an annoying performance. This girl’s been crying since Kanye West stole her light and gave us one of the best television moments in history, so what does she do now? More crying, but just with singing. This girl…man…listen, she needs a boyfriend, or something, because she’s going through something in life that needs counselling. I’m not hating (maybe), but she needs to hold a seat. Like, HOLD IT!

The Beach Boys were to be recognized as lifetime achievers, and given the fact that I’ve heard Beach Boys songs all left right and centre, it was cool to see Maroon 5 give us some songs, before the Beach Boys themselves performed their classics. It was a nice moment, so I’ll give it that, but I didn’t care much for it.

Sir Paul McCartney, 1 of 2 Beatles still living, delivered a great performance. I love me some Beatles man (RIP John Lennon), and the songs he belted out, I sang right along with them, I’m not going to lie. It was cool, it was enjoyable, and McCartney can still put in work after all of these years. It’s a shame that people don’t have much of a musical knowledge of The Beatles, because they were a major movement back in the day, and their music still resonates with us today. So, we should pay that respect.

Lord have mercy, this was one long recap, and I know for a fact that I missed on some stuff, but listen, I don’t do this regularly. I literally woke up and said, “ya, I’ll just do a recap, whatever.” And here you go. Your recap. For the list of winners, go to the Grammys website, and for most of the video performances, and even pictures from the red carpet (because that’s not my field of expertise), visit Ohverly Critical RIGHT NOW!! Why? Because

That’s My Word & It STiXX

oh ya….WHAT WAS THIS NEGRO THINKING COMING TO AN AWARDS SHOW IN A PINK DURAG?! THIS IS WHY BLACK PEOPLE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS.

Ok I’m done

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