The Rain – Vent XX

I’m listening to Chuuwee’s ‘Scribe‘ track, and as I’m sitting on the bus pretty damp from the rain outside, a thought comes to mind, so allow me to share it with you.

The rain – It can be cold, warm, soothing to listen to it hitting against the windows or the roof, unbearable to look at when you want to do something outside, but somehow it prevents you from pursuing what you intended on doing. The rain has mystic powers. Some people get headaches when they anticipate it coming, it changes the moods of people for the better or worse, and ultimately people either love it or hate it (unless you’re one of those people that simply just doesn’t mind it at all, but aren’t love struck over it). It’s something that people find inspiring, empowering, depressing, and really it holds so much power over the human emotions; no one can really explain it to the best of their abilities (I don’t even think they all care to be honest).

I have a story to share about my personal definition of the rain. It’s metaphorical, it’s spiritual, it’s uplifting, and inspiring. Okay, well to me it is.

2010 was a year full of a series of unfortunate events (ironic since that’s the title of my favourite book series), and it wasn’t always like that. There were times of happiness, but less than the amount of stress and struggle that came along that way. But one night in the summer, something happened – it’s as if God, or some force of nature, was understanding what I was going through, so it decided test me.

My mind was going through a hell of a lot at that time, because the girl I was dating at the time (who shall forever remain nameless) was essentially giving me hell, and so many different situations kept popping up that made the weigh on my shoulders continually sink in further and further to the point where I felt like I didn’t have the strength beneath me to actually pick myself up. It was tough, and I’m over it, but certain things during those times still resonate with me today, and just further advance my wisdom when it comes to decision making, and how I can help others with their own issues to the best of my ability.

I don’t know which day it was, or the time, but it was in the evening, and I think I had just got off the phone with the nameless girl. I was pretty pissed off, and I just went outside to take a walk; nothing more, nothing less. Just a simple walk down the street to clear my mind, and then hopefully just go back home and recuperate – well let’s just say that it didn’t exactly happen like that.

I like to walk, sometimes it was the only means of actual transportation for me when I had no other options, and no one was around to help me out. I used to walk 2 hours from my high school all the way home because I didn’t have any bus fare, and the school refused to give me any tickets, even though I lived in the area (bullshit, I tell you), and often times I walked with my friends just simply because we wanted to. It’s a way to spend time with someone, but at the same time, you’re not secluded in an enclosed space for hours at a time (not that there’s anything wrong with that).

As I was walking towards the Uptown district of my city, I didn’t want to think about anything at the time; I just wanted to walk and clear my head, and think of other things that would make my life better for me, because, like everyone, I deserved better than what I was going through at the time. The night was clear, a bit cloudy, but who really notices these things anyways? I was walking with the only music to my ears being the sounds of night traffic and a slight rumble in the air – thunder was brewing, but there had been lightning storms with no rain, earlier in the week (and month), so it could have been anything. So, as I’m walking, I reach Yonge & Eglinton (major intersection which is about a 30-45 minute walk from my home), and I don’t feel like going home yet, because my mind is still flustered. So, what do I do? I start to jog.

I’m not a jogger – at all. I can jog if I wanted to, I’m pretty athletic, but I just choose not to. That night was different; I really felt like running my issues away (metaphorically, not reality) would help, and as I started to go, I felt droplets of water hit me. Now, most people would go a short distance, stop, then turn around and go home; but as I stated before, I didn’t want to go home just yet, so I kept going. The rain started coming down more consistently, it wasn’t just spitting, now it was actually raining. I spotted another jogger across the street running opposite of me, and we exchanged waves (nice moment), and I continued jogging south. I didn’t exactly have a destination, but I just wanted to see how far I could go until I decided to stop. I track where I am, by Subway stations (train stations for the foreigners), so where I was, I made it about 3 stops before I took my first pause. I was soaked, my phone was soaked in my shorts, and I had two options: wait it out under the bridge, or continue running through it – going back home was NOT an option at all.

I decided that it would only be right if I continued through the rain; it was only right because, how could I have just come this far just to turn back? Hell no; I was going to continue. I don’t know what exactly I was trying to prove, but I didn’t want to just quit.

Running through the rain isn’t as glamorous as it looks on TV, especially since I wear glasses as well. All I could see in front of my face was water & blurry lights. At the occasional red light, I wiped them off, but that really didn’t help much. The rain grew angry, it had a mind of its own as if it was determined to get me to run and hide underneath somewhere for protection, but nope, I said “forget you,” and I challenged the elements. Some may call me crazy, but I was a man on a mission. People were looking at me from inside of the shops like “who the hell is this kid just running in the rain? The nerve of him. Such rebellion.” I didn’t care; I had gone through enough bullshit at that time, that I just wanted to run through this, and then it hit me – this is a metaphor.
Metaphorical songs about the rain:
Blu – Dancing In The Rain
SWV – Rain
New Edition – Can You Stand The Rain 

As I stated before, the rain can mean something negative; it can be a representation of all of the hardships in life that weigh you down. Many people run from the rain when it falls because they’re scared to get wet. People stay at home because they feel as if it ruins everything that they want to do. It makes people not want to leave, huddle up, and curl into a ball. I know people who’ve cancelled outings because of the rain. It’s water…you bathe in it, it’s not harmful (well…some of it). I was running through all of the problems, the pain & sorrow in the my life at that point. I was running to let the universe know that there was no obstacle that could get in my way that I wouldn’t fight through. I was running to tell myself that I could get over what I was going through because it’s only temporary. The rain doesn’t last forever. There’s a calm before the storm, but what happens when the storm comes? You hide out in shelter? No. In the immortal words of former Baltimore Ravens coach, Brian Billick:
“You come in kicking the door down, screaming like a banshee and asking, where is the son of a bitch?”

That’s how a lot of people should look at life. Having no fear for what’s out there. To move past the barricades and do whatever it takes to get over what you’re going through. I kept running until the rain stopped. I wasn’t stopping until it did. I ended up in the heart of downtown (Yonge & Bloor), and after the rain stopped, I felt this surge of energy, like I had just made the biggest accomplishment of my life. I went against the grain, did something crazy, and I eventually set out to do what I wanted to do in the first place – to clear my head.

Moral of this story is that, no matter what issues you go through, or how hard the rain falls, don’t hide from it. Be strong and run right through it. The rain can cause blurred vision, but you know what? There’s still enough for you to get through, and once it all clears, you’ll approach other situations with more confidence than you’ve had before. Keep running. Never stop.

That’s My Word & It STiXX

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