“It is what it is, I know there’s better ways to call it
Just hit me on the hip and if I can you’ll get the call back
I’m busy in the world, know me and Glen just got a contract
And now you say I changed
Like I’m doing all of this to stay the same” – Anderson. Paak (Starlite)
There’s something about the transition of seasons within a year that causes a great stir within one’s life. I couldn’t tell you in full detail just what that has entailed for me, personally, but I have definitely come to a strong realization about the things that truly matter in my life. In a word, energy, which seems to be the most popular word of the year, is something that I took more pride in spreading in a healthier way and even conserving. You can’t have enough energy for everyone else and yourself. It just doesn’t work that way, and that’s how one gets burnt out. I got burnt out. I became emotionally stagnant, and I had to hit the reset button. I lost my willingness to write, to listen consistently to new music for that sense of discovery, to go out to the movies every week, and still pursuit my career and take care of building a life at home. Where’s the balance? That’s the opposite of what I have been taught for the majority of my life.
As I enter upon a new chapter of my life, there’s a lot of shedding that occurs in order for that growth to be considered beneficial so that moving forward, there can be some more clarity. That means being more self-aware and wary of people who have been in your life for a good time but not a long time. I’ve also realized that communication is so vital because if everything is broken telephone and there’s no direct line to truly hash out what the hell is going on, how can there be growth? Confrontation is what I’ve always avoided because I never wanted drama in my life (those damn triggers of the past), but life will ways hit you with the “you thought” in order for you to step up and do something for yourself. Accepting that certain things weren’t worth holding onto just because of ‘longevity’ was a key step in maturing. I have different focuses. Right now, as of this writing, I’m in the happiest state of mind, body, and soul that I’ve ever been in, and I’m going to cherish it with all I have to offer. It’s just about pace now – it’s about directing that energy into the things that matter. Confronting the issues that you had lingering and pushed to side for the sake of keeping the peace isn’t honest. It’s a front. That’s not in the plans, not on the agenda, it wasn’t in the minutes of the last meeting, it just wasn’t a priority that needed to exist.
Don’t fear the change that organically stems from what life presents. You’re not supposed to be the same on a day to day or year to year basis. If you’re not growing, you’re dying. If you’re stagnant and stuck in your own ways, it’s not being honest with yourself. Always improve. You owe it to yourself and you’ll be thankful for it.
But for now, as always and forever,
That’s My Word & It STiXX