That Dreaded ‘T’ Word – Vent XXXVIII

How does one define trust? Having faith in someone that they’ll have your back when it matters most? Relying on those closest to you to step up when you need them? Knowing that you can sleep easily at night because there’s that person that knows everything about you, but won’t use it against you? There are many factors to determining trust – we all have issues with trusting people, and as time goes on when you’re developing yourself and changing a lifestyle you’re accustomed to, it doesn’t get easier to trust people.

I’ve been having a lot of discussions lately about being successful and people who want to help me get to where I want to be. The problem is how can you be sure that the people that you’re having these discussions with won’t do a full 180 on you when you get there, or even on your path to getting there? It’s always a jigsaw puzzle when it comes to determining who stays within your circle. We’ve seen in so many movies, examples of people who have had their own best friends stab them in the back just to get ahead of them. Fabolous said it best in ‘Pachangas’:

“A Thug changes and love changes, and best friends become strangers – Pachangas”

It’s a common issue and I’m sure I’ve touched on it before, but there’s always that feeling in the back of your mind that keeps you on your toes. It’s one reason why I keep a lot of people at arm’s length. I’ve seen too much, and I’ve experienced a lot to see for myself that you really can’t trust anyone. Sometimes you can’t trust yourself, but you’re the only person you have.

“Who can I trust…there’s no one not even myself, a Gemini screaming for help” – Kendrick Lamar (Hol’ Up)

I know there are good people in the world, and you should always see the good in people before determining if they’re going to do something bad. Being over analytical can be a burden (believe me), but the thing is that it’s important to be aware of that. People you’re closest with that you ask for help will be the first ones to push you to the side for someone else, because they look at you more as a liability than a benefit. I have my own views, but experience helps nurture oneself to developing into a wiser person. Donald Sutherland taught me (okay not directly) in The Italian Job, that you should trust everyone – just not the Devil inside them. Everyone has one; I don’t care who you are, and/or what your relationship is. Everyone (including myself) has that one attribute in them that can make them switch their views on you in an instant. Does it suck? Sure. Is it necessary? Absolutely. You can’t let everyone in, and I think that’s basically how I live my life. There are people I can speak to, but I don’t trust anyone to let it all out. People take advantage of the weak when they expose themselves. You’re only putting yourself at risk by letting in the wrong people.

Don’t absolutely put yourself in a box and not talk to anyone, because life’s not about that. It’s about who you can instinctively know who you can rely on when the time counts. Rap music, although there’s lack of substance these days, there are songs with particular lines that stand out and speak to you. Another example:

Ya see the people that I love slowly turning on me
Or that turning point when I start to lose my only homies
So show me love or show me paper I be on my lonely
Only nigga window seat planning my global warming
– Chuuwee
(Global Warming)

There’s a lot of change that comes in life. You either adapt to it, or you die. People come and go, and the worst thing to do is make the mistake of entrusting someone only to have them take it away from you. That’s a great fear of mine, and that’s what keeps me going daily. Obviously we can never know who will come back and bite us in the ass, but it’s never a bad idea to trust your instincts.

That’s My Word & It STiXX

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